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theonion:

Report: 79% Of Minority Suspects Receive Miranda Rights While Unconscious
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meowgon:

kinginthewest:

it’s just like, why are there cat emojis for loads of emotions as well as normal humans emojis

image

like, when do i need to express these emotions… but as a cat

they’re not for you… they’re for ME

image

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- mom:are you excited for for freshman orientation??
- me:...
- me:*war flashbacks*
- me:AAAAAAAAAAGGHHHHHH
- mom:hon you got a 92 average last year it wasn't that bad
- me:*continued screaming*
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douglasmurphy:

rainbowcoffin:

c-h-0-w:

nightwife:

Always reblog

Woah

well he really should have worn more protective clothing if he didn’t want that to happensounds to me like he was asking for it

Are we really sure he was actually shot and decapitated? Idk, sounds like something he would’ve made up. Guys make false decapitation accusations all the time, you know. 

Really, if it was a legitimate shooting and decapitation, the guy wouldn’t have died. The body has ways to shut that whole thing down.
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brittsfunhouse:

Well damn, guess that explains why the paycheck is shit.
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martymcflyinthefuture:

Today is the day Marty McFly goes to the future!
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- Me:*heals self*
- Enemy:*heals self*
- Me:Whoa. Whoa.
- Me:What do you think you're doing?
- Me:I just took off half your health bar, and then you go and do that?
- Me:Yeah, I KNOW I just healed myself.
- Me:
- Me:
- Me:It's different when I do it.